Six Gross Things That Runners Do May 24 2012

Something happens to me when I put on my running shoes. Normally, I'm a pretty respectable citizen. And by respectable I mean someone who follows traffic laws, says "please" and "thank you," and doesn't think it's appropriate to urinate on the subway system (yeah, that happened). When I step out for a run, however, my mentality shifts. Suddenly I'm trotting through downtown in a spandex ensemble that rivals anything I've seen in the Castro, using my t-shirt to wipe the sweat off my face, and viewing bushes as prospective pit-stops. I don't know why, but running enables my "anything goes" mentality and when I say "anything goes," I mean anything.

Snot rocket
When else is it appropriate to blow your nose without a handkerchief? Not only is shooting snot out of your nose totally acceptable while running, fellow runners will actually comment on your technique. I've even heard runners bemoan the fact that they can't effectively use this technique and have to a) use a Kleenex or b) their shirt. (Gross)

Treat Bushes as Restrooms
It would be really nice if there were restrooms along the trail. Unfortunately there aren't any. Just bushes. If you're lucky. This is where the argument for urban running is at its strongest: public restrooms.

Swallow Bugs
It happens. Occasionally. In our defense, we don't swallow them intentionally. It just happens. At least we're not alone. Cyclists have this problem too.

Spit
Well, you have to get the bugs out of your mouth somehow. Sorry. Normally, I wouldn't be caught dead spitting in public, but once again, while running, I don't really give a damn. I blame exhaustion-induced delirium. That sounds legit, right?

Sweat Profusely
We sweat. A lot. And it's not the cute pseudo-sweaty glow that people in color coordinated jogging suits sport when they jump off the treadmill after two minutes. It's more like, "Wow, I just got caught in a downpour and could easily wring out my t-shirt" kind of sweat.

Eat GU and Shot Bloks on a Regular Basis
At least they have a variety of flavors? Man, you know you've gotten in over your head as a runner when someone asks you if you want a margarita and they're not referring to a drink with tequila.